


Why do you hate me?

by dat_carovieh



Category: The Witcher (TV), Wiedźmin | The Witcher - All Media Types
Genre: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia Has Self-Esteem Issues, Hurt Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia, Hurt Jaskier | Dandelion, M/M, Miscommunication, Post-Episode: S01E06 Rare Species, They just fucking, non romantic Jaskier/Lambert, self loathing Geralt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-23
Updated: 2021-01-06
Packaged: 2021-03-11 01:55:05
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,505
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28267221
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dat_carovieh/pseuds/dat_carovieh
Summary: After the mountain incident, Jaskier meets Lambert in a tavern and finds someone in him, who enjoys talking shit about Geralt, also a great bed partner and a good friend.And then winter comes, leading them to Kaer Morhen.
Relationships: Geralt z Rivii | Geralt of Rivia/Jaskier | Dandelion, Jaskier | Dandelion & Lambert
Comments: 83
Kudos: 361





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> The fic has been inspired by this [Tumblr post](https://jaskier-royale.tumblr.com/post/611995831610081280/coordinator-narvin-so-i-have-an-angsty).

„Aren’t you Jaskier?“ Lambert asked the bard after he had finished playing and passed by his table, lute slung over his shoulder. „Geralt’s bard?” The face that had been so happy suddenly fell and quickly twisted from sadness into anger. He stepped up to the table, leaned over it, hands on the tabletop and stared at Lambert, blue eyes filled with rage. Lambert felt the urge to inch away, even though the bard probably wasn’t dangerous to him. Humans usually acted more scared about him, even when they snarled at him, but not this bard.

“I’m not Geralt’s anything,” he snarled. This sounded like his brother had fucked up badly.

“Uh oh, what did he do?” Lambert asked.

“What is it to you?” Jaskier asked, still not breaking eye contact. Lambert started to feel uneasy but he didn’t avert his eyes. He would not lose a staring contest against a fucking bard. No matter how scary he looked.

“As official asshole little brother, I just like getting dirt on him,” he explained with s grin. Jaskier’s face softened.

“Oh, I have a story for you then, Witcher,” Jaskier said. “Let me just get us some ale before.” With that he turned and left for the bar. Lambert leaned back. He already liked the bard.

A mug was slammed down in front of Lambert and the still angry bard sat down opposite of him.

“So, you’re a wolf Witcher?” Jaskier asked him.

“Yeah, the youngest of the still living ones. Lambert,” he introduced himself.

Jaskier’s rant went on and on, explaining I great detail all the events leading to, Geralt yelling at Jaskier on top of the mountain.

“What the actual fuck? He blamed you for the child of surprise while he was the one claiming it? Also, he was fishing for a damn Djinn because he wanted a fucking NAP? Instead of maybe go to a healer and get some herbs or shit. A fucking Djinn. And then also blaming you for his dumb wish after his first wish nearly killed you? What the fuck is wrong with him? When I see him next time, I will punch him,” Lambert ranted. Jaskier smiled satisfied.

“Exactly. And the idiot I am, I still fucking love him,” Jaskier blurted out. This was not really Lambert’s area of expertise, he usually avoided feelings at all costs.

“Oh,” he said. “Should I get something a bit stronger?” he suggested. Alcohol had always been a great way for him to run from his feelings. Jaskier’s face lit up again.

“Sounds great,” he said and Lambert got up to get some vodka from the innkeep. He returned with a bottle vodka of questionable quality. But at least it was strong. Jaskier snatched it out of his hand and swallowed a couple of times.

“Slow down, you’re gonna kill yourself,” Lambert said with a grin.

“Pff I’m not weak, I can handle it, Jaskier replied as he handed the bottle back to Lambert.

“So now it’s your turn to give me some dirt on Geralt,” Jaskier demanded. Lambert drank something as well, before he started talking. Over the evening they emptied nearly the whole bottle and ended up spectacularly drunk.

“I’ll better go, need to set up camp,” Lambert slurred.

“Whaddaya mean? You don’t sleep here?” Jaskier asked, looking at him surprised.

“Nah, inn’s all full,” Lambert explained.

“Well shit, just come to my room, we can share. The bed is small but I’m sure we manage,” Jaskier said with a wink. Did the bard just fucking flirt with Lambert? He wasn’t sure but anyway he wouldn’t say no to the offer of a free room and bed, it was always better then sleeping outside and he followed the bard up the stairs. The room was small and the bed was probably just intended for one person but they could surely manage or Lambert would put out his bed roll on the floor, still better then outside.

He put his stuff down and kicked off his shoes as Jaskier turned to him and walked up to him, only stopping inches before they would touch.

“Hi,” he said.

“Hi,” “Lambert answered amused. “What are you doing?”

“Trying to seduce you but I fear my skills have fallen victim to the booze,” he slurred. Lambert laughed.

“Wanna fuck?” he asked.

“Not smooth at all,” Jaskier chided. “But sure, let’s fuck.” He giggled as he started to pull Lambert’s shirt up. As he was topless Jaskier stared at his chest for a moment.

“Wow,” Jaskier said and let his hands run over the muscular chest. Lambert started to fumble with the bards clothing but he failed quickly with the various lacings, Jaskier didn’t seem to have any problems with that and he enjoyed watching the bard shed one piece of clothing after the other until he was naked. The he stepped up to Lambert again and pulled at his wristband to free him of his trousers. When Lambert was also naked Jaskier looked down.

“Damn would I like to get that into my mouth,” he mumbled, probably forgetting, Lambert could here him. Lambert grinned.

“Knock yourself out, bard,” he said chuckling and Jaskier immediately fell to his knees. His hands came up to his hips as he swallowed half his cock in one go.

“Fuck,” Lambert pressed out and buried a hand in Jaskier’s hair. He was thankful the wall was directly behind him so he could lean against it, while he watched Jaskier’s head move. Every time he moved in, a bit more of Lambert’s cock vanished into his mouth. It was mesmerizing to watch. He clearly knew exactly what he was doing with his tongue, despite the alcohol he seemed really focused and finally he swallowed Lambert’s whole cock. Lambert leaned his head back with a loud moan, his legs trembled as he felt his orgasm draw closer.

“I’m going to come,” he warned the bard, so he could pull back, if he wanted to, but he just hummed, to show he had heard him and continued doing what he had been doing. And when Lambert came he swallowed everything, licking him clean afterwards.

“Where the fuck did you learn that?” Lambert asked, because he was sure he has never had such a good blowjob. Jaskier let his cock slide out of his mouth and looked up at him.

“Oxenfurt,” he answered with a cheeky grin.

“You got a degree in cocksucking?” Lambert asked. Jaskier got up and leaned against him, his hard cock pressing against Lambert.

“No, I’m master of the seven liberal arts, cocksucking is none of them. But is there was a degree, be assured I would have it,” Jaskier explained. “But it was more of an extracurricular activity. But tell me, the stuff people are saying about the famous Witcher stamina, is it true?”

Lambert pressed himself against Jaskier to show him, that he was already growing hard again.

“Are you telling me, you and Geralt never fucked?” he asked surprised.

“No, but I would very much like to not think about him and instead fuck you into the mattress over there,” Jaskier answered and moved his hand down Lambert’s back before grabbing the Witcher’s ass.

“Why do you think, I’d be the one getting fucked?” Lambert asked. Jaskier took a step back and looked at him.

“I could swear you’re a bottom, should my instinct have abandoned me?” he wondered. Lambert bit his lip. He usually hated admitting this in front of people he didn’t know too long but shit the bard was right.

“If you tell anyone, I’ll kill you,” Lambert growled and pushed Jaskier to the bed. Jaskier wrapped his arms around Lambert’s shoulders.

“It will be out little secret,” he said. Before they reached the bed, Jaskier wiggled out of Lambert’s grip and went to his pack. Lambert raised an eyebrow but understood as Jaskier lifted a bottle of oil. Made sense, in his drunken state he probably wouldn’t even mind a dry fuck but he would greatly regret it tomorrow when he couldn’t sit in the saddle anymore.


	2. Chapter 2

After the first night they had spent together, Lambert had asked Jaskier if he wanted to accompany him for a couple of days. Jaskier had readily agreed. After he and Geralt had split up he had been drifting around, not knowing where to go so it was nice not being alone anymore. Days had become weeks and then months. Jaskier understood, why Lambert might be called an asshole by his brothers. He always said what was on his mind and could be quite rude at times, but he also was pretty honest and could show his appreciation if he liked something. Jaskier felt like they had actually developed a great friendship, the occasional sex was a great bonus and he didn’t think about Geralt as often anymore. It still hurt to think about him and damn he was still very much in love with him but not being alone helped him a lot to not give in to his bad feelings.

Winter was approaching fast and Jaskier didn’t really know where to go this year. He could probably go back to Oxenfurt but he was scared to be alone again. They currently were walking through the streets of Novigrad, stocking up their supplies.

“I’m returning to Kaer Morhen for the winter,” Lambert started off. Jaskier nodded

“Thought you probably would,” he said.

“I thought, maybe you want to come too? I can understand if you don’t want to, since Geralt might be there but the keep is big so you could avoid him,” Lambert offered. Geralt had never invited him to Kaer Morhen for the winter and Lambert did it after they knew each other for only three months. On one hand he really wanted to go but the thought of seeing Geralt again made him uneasy.

“I will think about it,” he answered. “But thanks for the invitation.”

* * *

He decided to send a letter to the Oxenfurt Academy, asking if they would need a teacher for the winter months. The reply arrived only a couple of days later, telling him this year they didn’t need anyone but offering him to stay there nonetheless for a very cheap rent. But without a job he didn’t want to go, it was always a bit uncertain if he could make enough money, so he decided to take Lambert up on his offer to come to Kaer Morhen with him.

He was scared of meeting Geralt again, kept thinking how the Witcher would react when he saw him. When the path would be closed by snow, he wouldn’t be able to get out again, if he couldn’t bare seeing Geralt.

“If he’s being an ass, I’m gonna rip him a new one,” Lambert promised and Jaskier couldn’t help himself but to grin.

* * *

They arrived at the keep early, it was still fall and it was pretty warm. Lambert would normally have gone to the keep later in the year but he didn’t want to risk them getting into the first snow. He would usually mange but as a human Jaskier was just less resistant against cold. That way they arrived first at the keep.

To Lambert’s surprise, Vesemir and Jaskier already knew each other. He just wanted to introduce them to each other as Jaskier suddenly grinned.

“Vesemir, good to meet you here,” he announced, walking up to the oldest Witcher, throwing his arms around him. To Lamberts even bigger surprise, Vesemir hugged him back, laughing.

“How do you two know each other?” he asked as Jaskier let go of Vesemir again.

“Oh, Vesemir got me out of a rather embarrassing situation with a couple of Bruxae who apparently were more interested in my blood then my cock. This was quite the disappointment, let me tell you,” he said. “But luckily a certain Witcher was interested in my cock that evening,” he added with a wink at Vesemir. Lambert’s jaw dropped as he stared at them in shock.

“So, I guess you have a thing for Witchers,” he said.

“Generally, for men who could easily snap me in half,” Jaskier explained grinning. Maybe the winter could be very interesting. Just how interesting just showed as Eskel turned up and Jaskier of course knew him as well.

“We met a couple of times, had some nice encounters a while back,” Jaskier explained. By nice encounters he of course meant sex. Lambert didn’t mind, they weren’t together or anything and he knew Jaskier loved Geralt. He was mainly fascinated that the bard had nearly fucked every wolf Witcher except the one he actually loved. Seemed like exactly the thing Lambert would do. It also seemed a little unhealthy.

Jaskier spent much of the next days in the library, reading through a lot of books in record speed. He loved spending his time in the comfortable chair next to the warm fire. When he looked out, he often saw the Witchers train in the yard. He had gotten his own room, in the same hallway as the others had theirs but he enjoyed spending the nights with Lambert, Eskel or Vesemir. They all acted so very different from each other in bed and it was exciting. They also were all very fond of having Jaskier around in general, his chatter, his music, just his whole personality was warming up the keep a lot.

“You know, Geralt actually loves you, right?” Eskel told him one evening as they sat together. Jaskier nodded he had suspected as much.

“Yeah, I also know he didn’t mean it, what he said, but he broke my fucking heart and I want him to show what I mean to me,” Jaskier said.

“I assume when he’ll see you with us, he will get all possessive and will quickly try to apologize to you,” Eskel said. Jaskier grinned. He liked the idea.

“Looking forward to fuck with Geralt a little,” Lambert said and pulled Jaskier into a hug.

* * *

Finally, when the pass had nearly snowed shut and they all started to expect Geralt wouldn’t show up this winter, Geralt appeared in the yard of the keep. Eskel had spotted him from the window and told the others. Jaskier who was sitting in Lambert’s lap, getting his hair petted nearly jumped up to flee but he decided against it for now. He would stay right here, cuddled up to Lambert, to show Geralt he didn’t care about him anymore. This was of course not true at all, but he at least wanted to pretend he didn’t. Lambert felt how Jaskier’s anxiety spiked and ran a calming hand up and down his spine. Jaskier rolled together and leaned against Lamberts chest. It probably looked weird since he was taller than the Witcher but he didn’t care about this. He felt much calmer than he would have felt if he hadn’t been in Lamberts lap.

The door opened and Geralt entered, covered I snow, beard frozen, his swords still on his back and pack in his hand. He stopped dead in his track and stared at Jaskier.

“What are you doing here?” he snapped. Jaskier stared at him.

“Lambert invited me, if you don’t like it, go fuck yourself,” Jaskier snapped back. Geralt immediately turned around and left the room. Door loudly falling shut behind him.

“Are you alright?” Lambert asked concerned, pressing his cheek against Jaskier’s cheek from behind.

Jaskier sighed.

“Not really but thanks for being here. I knew I missed him but didn’t realize how much. And he clearly hates that I’m here,” he said. Lambert’s arms wrapped around him and he carefully rocked him.

“I’m sorry,” the Witcher said.

“Not your fault, Geralt’s being an ass,” Jaskier answered.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Today we visit Geralt's PoV

“What are you doing here?” The question came out harsher than Geralt had planned. He had been startled by seeing Jaskier at Kaer Morhen. And then he had been sitting in Lambert’s lap. This had been to much for him.

“Lambert invited me, if you don’t like it, go fuck yourself,” Jaskier snapped back. He had every right to be mad at Geralt and the Witcher turned around, leaving as quickly as possible to his own room. He smelled Jaskier everywhere in the keep. He couldn’t even make out which room belonged to the bard because everything was smelling like him. It was infuriating.

He tossed his stuff into one corner of his room. With a quick flick of his wrist, he ignited the fire and then took off his thick but wet traveling clothes. He luckily found something dry at the bottom of his stuff. After he had changed, he unpacked and scattered everything through the room so it could dry.

He was so mad at himself, of course Jaskier had moved on after everything Geralt had said to him all these months back. Moved on to another Witcher, one who wasn’t as freakish as him. Less mutated, less work. The last months had been hard, he had forgotten how shitty traveling alone was when you weren’t looking forward to meet your friend again soon.

He only wanted to get home to his family, hide out in the keep and lick his metaphorical wounds. He hadn’t expected Jaskier to be here, hadn’t expected him to even know other Witchers and it hurt a lot. He would do his best to stay away from Jaskier whenever possible. He didn’t want to force his presence on the bard.

When he had arrived and recognised Jaskier’s horse Pegasus in the stables he had planned to apologize to him but now that he’d seen him with Lambert he knew, there was no reason to do so. Jaskier had moved on from him and it was absolutely understandable. Lambert was an asshole on occasion but he was at least honest and actually able to show his affection in his own way. Geralt wouldn’t get between them.

He left his room again, after he had put all of his belongings into the closet. Maybe the library would give him some distraction. He walked through the halls of Kaer Morhen, felt the familiar feeling of being home but it couldn’t overshadow that something was wrong. Something was missing and he knew what it was, who it was. He even was here but Geralt didn’t have the right to get close to him.

He entered the library and immediately saw Jaskier who looked up from his book, as Geralt entered, Eskel was standing at a shelf behind Jaskier but stepped up to him and protectively put a hand on Jaskier’s shoulder, as soon as he saw Geralt. No one said something to him.

“Just getting a book,” he mumbled, even without looking he felt their stares in him as he walked up to the shelf to get a book to read in his room. He quickly picked one and then left again to go to his room.

He wrapped himself into his blanket and tried to focus on his reading instead on the cold blue eyes that had stared at him today. He had hoped to find comfort with his family but instead he felt unwelcome and lonely. He knew it was his fault, he knew he should apologize but he wasn’t sure if Jaskier would even listen to him. Especially after he had snapped at him earlier.

* * *

Jaskier looked up at Eskel, thankful the Witcher had reacted immediately when Geralt ha entered.

“He probably just needs some time then he will apologize,” Eskel tried to reassure him.

“He had months, how much more time does he need? I should just accept that he meant every word he said back then” Jaskier asked. It hurt so much to even think about it. Eskel pulled him up from the chair and into his arms.

“He didn’t mean any of this, I know he loves you. He just needs to apologize. You could probably talk to him if you wanted to, but I understand if you don’t,” Eskel said, running his hand up and down Jaskier’s back.

It should really be on Geralt to apologize. But Jaskier wondered if he would ever do this. They probably would leave the keep in spring without having talked a normal sentence.

* * *

A couple hours later he heard Lambert’ door open and two pair of feet entered the room. It quickly became apparent that it was Jaskier, based on the giggling he heard. Why he was there got clear pretty quickly as the giggles turned into moans and the creaking of the old bed. They were fucking, right next to him. If he has had doubts about the relationship between Jaskier and Lambert, it now was clear what was going on. He had fucked up completely. Had driven away the man he loved and sent him into the arms of his brother who could clearly give him what he needed. This didn’t change that Geralt was incredibly jealous.


	4. Chapter 4

Jaskier had barely seen Geralt over the next two days and the other Witchers had made their best efforts to distract him but it didn’t help a lot, Jaskier was still nearly constantly thinking about Geralt. Out on the path it had worked, because he hadn’t seen him but now Geralt kept appearing shortly at breakfast and dinner and sometimes Jaskier passed him in a hall but he seemed to spend most of his time in his room or in the stables, hiding.

This morning when he appeared in the kitchen, where everyone was already sitting and grabbed some food Vesemir started to yell at him.

“Geralt!” Geralt turned around. “Don’t you dare hide in your room again the whole day. You’re acting like a moody teenager and I’m too old to deal with this shit. I expect to see you in the yard for sparing today. If you get out of shape over the winter, you’re gonna die next year and I’m not having that. I will kick your ass outside if you’re not there.” Geralt looked to the ground like a child. Probably the right reaction since he was acting like a child since he’d arrived in the keep.

Despite having doubts if it was a good idea, Jaskier went outside to watch the Witchers train. Vesemir paired Geralt with Lambert for some reason and it became clear pretty fast, that this was a bad decision. Geralt continued to angrily swing his sword at him. Lambert managed to block all his sloppy moves but if one would have hit, Lambert could have been seriously injured.

“What the fuck is the matter with you, Geralt?” Lambert growled. Geralt didn’t answer, just swung another time. “Is it about me and Jaskier fucking? Because I know you heard us. You know what, Geralt? If you didn’t want me to fuck the bard, maybe you shouldn’t have broken his fucking heart. And now stop being an idiot and stop trying to kill me, because that won’t resolve anything!”

Geralt dropped his sword and stormed away.

“Fucking idiot,” Lambert yelled and picked up Geralt’s discarded sword. 

Jaskier stood a little forlorn in the middle of the yard and stared after Geralt while biting his lower lip.

“Sorry, I’m getting between you,” Jaskier said. He felt very bad, since the Witchers were a family and now they were fighting because of him. Quickly Lambert and Eskel were at hi side and he was pulled against a strong body while another pressed himself against his other side. He leaned his forehead against Lambert’s shoulder and closed his eyes.

“Why the fuck am I in love with such an asshole?” Jaskier asked, feeling tired. Eskel’s arms wrapped around him.

“You can’t choose who you’re in love with and I feel like, if Geralt gets his head out of his ass, he could actually make you happy. That is if you let him. It’d be understandable if you wouldn’t. But if you want to, maybe you should talk to him, tell him that you expect an apology?” Eskel, always the voice of reason, Jaskier didn’t want to hear. But of course, he was right, like usual. Jaskier just didn’t feel like talking to Geralt right now.

* * *

Geralt stormed inside the keep, he knew he was acting like a child but he thought Lambert’s comment had been completely uncalled for. What even did he mean with breaking Jaskier’s heart? It wasn’t like Jaskier was in love with him or anything. Sure, he had acted shitty towards his friend and he regretted that. But it was very clear, Jaskier loved Lambert. He would never actually love Geralt. Why should he?

He aimlessly walked through the halls, trying to calm down his nerves. He had hurt Jaskier, so much was clear, he had been cruel to him in trying to drive him off. He hadn’t meant to, that moment he had only thought about his own feelings. Knowing he could never get over his love for the bard when he had to see him every day, because then he would still hope and cling to it. But he was sure, Jaskier wouldn’t ever love him like that.

It hadn’t really gotten better while Jaskier hadn’t been with him and as he’d seen him here again, curled up in Lambert’s lap, everything had come back to him even stronger. All the love but also the pain had been so much stronger than before. And then last night he had heard Lambert and Jaskier fucking. If he hadn’t been sure about what was happening between them it had been clear to him then. They probably didn’t know each other for too long but they had already gotten so close. If Jaskier would have had feelings for Geralt he would have surely acted different around him. Somehow his legs had carried him to the library, which thankfully was empty this time. He started to relax as he browsed the shelves. Books somehow were pretty calming to him. He spent the rest of the day reading next to the fire, ignoring Vesemir’s voice in his head, telling him how an untrained Witcher was a dead Witcher.


	5. Chapter 5

Jaskier had gone to the hot springs after dinner and enjoyed a long, relaxing bath in the hot water. He had trained with Lambert and his muscles had been sore, so the hot bath helped him a lot. His hair was still wet and hanging into his face, he pushed it out of his face as he walked back to the common room. All four Witcher’s were sitting together, so Geralt finally had gotten out of his room and decided to actually socialize. Their eyes met for a moment before Jaskier quickly looked away and walked over to Lambert where he dropped into the Witchers lap. Lambert looped his arms around Jaskier and placed his chin on Jaskier’s shoulder.

“Your hair is still wet,” he said and ruffled through the hair with his hand. Jaskier giggled and leaned into the touch. He heard a growl from Geralt and looked up just in time to see Geralt jump up and leave the room quickly. He winced as the door banged shut behind the Witcher.

“What the fuck?” he asked.

“What the fuck indeed,” Lambert agreed.

“Alright I’m going after him and ask him what his fucking problem is,” Jaskier decided and got up.

“Want me to come with you?” Lambert asked.

“No that’s between me and him, but thank you,” Jaskier said. He was nervous about it; he didn’t know how Geralt would react but he absolutely had enough. Before he could change his mind, he stormed out of the door, Geralt had probably gone to hide in his room again so that’s where Jaskier went. He hammered against the closed door.

“Geralt, open the fucking door right now,” he yelled but nothing happened. “Alright, wow, great just really great. Just keep running away and ignoring me. Are you really hating me so much you can’t even be in the same room with me? Every time I enter a room you flee nearly immediately. Is that how you want to spend the rest of the winter or are you gonna tell me what the fuck I actually did to you, that you despise me like that? Because I’m not buying any of the shit you claimed I did to you, none of this was actually my fault and you know it. All the years, we’ve known each other, I tried to always be there for you, I always loved you. I watched you choose Yen over me again and again but I always stayed by your side because I knew you needed a friend, because you’re the fucking love of my life. I could somehow deal with you sending me away. Lambert helped me, he’s been a good friend, Eskel as well. But then you see me again and you act like seeing me, having to endure my presence is the most horrible thing that has ever happened to you. I don’t even speak to you, but you see me and you run away and it fucking hurts. And despite all of this I’m still stupid enough to love you.”

He fell silent again and leaned his forehead against the door, feeling exhausted. Slowly he slid down to the ground and sat down on the cold stones, still leaning his back against the door. He didn’t want to cry, hadn’t planned to cry. He had thought he would at least talk to Geralt to his face, but the Witcher just hid in his room. Tears were forcing their way out of his eyes; he didn’t have the energy to hold them in. His chest tightened and he started to sob, despite his best efforts not to. Suddenly the door he was leaning against moved and he nearly fell into Geralt’s room. He didn’t dare to turn around. Didn’t want to look at Geralt when he told Jaskier to piss off.

To his surprise he felt a hand on his shoulder but it was withdrawn again quickly.

“I’m sorry, Jaskier,” Geralt said behind him and now Jaskier still turned around. Geralt didn’t look mad but sad, there were tears glistering in his eyes.

“What?” Jaskier asked. It was hard to talk around the sobs.

“I’m sorry. You’re right about the things I blamed you for, they were my own bad decisions but you’re wrong about how I feel about you. I don’t hate you. I love you but I was scared so I chased you off and it was a huge mistake,” Geralt explained.

“Yes, it fucking was, you broke my damn heart. I tried to stop loving you, but I couldn’t.”

“But what about Lambert, aren’t you…?” Geralt asked. Jaskier sighed before he answered.

“Lambert and I are friends. Friends with benefits, yes. We’re close and I would trust him with my life but I don’t love him like I love you. We met in a tavern, we drank, gotten along greatly, fell into bed and somehow started to walk the path together after that. But we never fell in love,” Jaskier explained.

“Can I touch you?” Geralt asked carefully and extended his hand towards Jaskier’s face but let it hover in the air, waiting for an answer. The bard nodded and the hand gently cupped his face. Jaskier immediately leaned into the touch and closed his eyes.

“If you want you can kiss me,” he whispered and a moment later he felt a warm pair of lips brush against his own. Just for a second. He opened his eyes again and blinked at Geralt.

“I still haven’t forgiven you,” Jaskier said, “but we have still over two months to work on this together, that is if you want to. And if you let me, we could leave the keep together, travel together.”

Geralt leaned his forehead against Jaskier’s forehead.

“I would like that,” he whispered and wiped the tears of Jaskier’s face.

“Do you think we should go back down again? Finally spending time all together without yelling or someone running off?” Jaskier asked. Geralt tensed.

“I’m not gonna sit in Lambert’s lap. Also, they all are gonna be excited we finally go our shits together,” Jaskier reassured Geralt and carefully wrapped his arms around his Witcher.

“Alright,” Geralt explained and pulled the both off them off the ground. Together they went back to the common room and as they entered the way the others looked at them made clear; they already knew what had happened. Even though right now they were keeping a slight distance between them.

There was still stuff to work out between them, they needed to learn to communicate with each other in an honest but not hurtful way and what they actually wanted out of their relationship, but finally Jaskier was sure, they would figure it out. As they sat down on chairs close to each other, Jaskier’s fingers brushed Geralt’s hand and he saw the Witcher’s lips twitch into a small smile. They would be fine eventually.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to know when I upload more, support me or just want to chat, you can follow me on [Twitter](https://twitter.com/LupisLiontooth) and [Tumblr](https://dat-carovieh.tumblr.com/) for Witcher Shenanigans and Fic updates.


End file.
